I Like You The Best
by Sir Biron
Summary: "Don't predict your death, because I like you the best" - Will Toledo I don't own 'K-ON'. 'K-ON' belongs to Kyoto Animations and Kakify
1. Chapter 1 - Rain

Azusa looks down at the ground below her. The sidewalk seems to shrink as the vertigo sets in, like it's getting farther away. As Azusa lifts her head to look out once more, she realizes that people have collected on the street. She's caused a commotion. Sirens reverb in the background, getting louder. She knows her parents won't be here, she knows that Ui and Jun won't be here, she knows that the club won't be here. Azusa looks out into the distance, buildings obstruct the view of her goal. Azusa closes her eyes and her hearing fades. She is alone with her thoughts.

_I have nothing. I want nothing._

She doesn't bother asking herself what the club would say.

_There's no going back._

She only thinks about the good things.

_The tea._

She tries to calm her mind.

_The music._

She doesn't want this to be forced.

_The sweets._

She wants this to be natural.

_The laughs._

The door slams, Azusa opens her eyes and her hearing comes back. She is greeted by sirens, flashing lights and voices behind her.

"Azusa!"

She already knows that voice, she doesn't want to look back.

"Azusa, please turn around and talk to us."

The voices seem to be pushing her farther forward.

_So why am I turning around?_

"Azusa, step down and let's talk. We know it's been hard since we left, especially with Jun and Ui but let's just sit and chat."

Azusa darts her eyes to Mugi, who is looking just as concerned as everyone else.

_They're all scared, they don't understand._

"I'm done talking, let me be," Azusa demands.

Mio took a step forward, "It doesn't have to be like this! I know it's been tough with the whole thing with Ui and Jun, but it doesn't have to go this way. You can come back."

Ritsu chimed in, "Even though we've been gone, we haven't forgotten you. Don't forget us."

Azusa stopped them, "You don't understand. It's not about you. Stop being selfish and let me be."

Mugi spoke, "No! You stop being selfish. We love you Azusa, we want to spend more time with you. A great deal of our conversations while at college either mentioned you or were about you. We missed you just as much as you missed us. We won't leave again. Even if we are far apart, we still look up at the same sky."

Azusa didn't bother considering their words. She turned to the other side of the ledge.

Yui ran up to the edge and grabbed Azusa's right hand.

Azusa angrily looked over at Yui, "Let me go! Stop being selfish, Yui-senpai."

"No. You're going to let me be selfish about this one. If you jump, I'm going down with you," Yui had no idea if she was doing the right thing, but she tightened her grip anyway. She felt a hand grasp her free hand. Yui looked to her right and saw Mugi, standing right on the edge with her. Yui looked back to her left and saw that Ritsu and Mio were on Azusa's left. They were all going down with her.

Everyone looked over to Azusa.

She couldn't hold the anger any longer. It faded. Tears began streaming down Azusa's face, disrupting her image of the far ground, filled with working officers and onlookers.

Azusa didn't have much will to speak up, "You're supposed to let me be. Why are you up here?"

Azusa heard Mugi's calming voice, "We love you, Azusa-chan. We're going to do everything in our power, we will sacrifice everything we have so that you are with us tomorrow."

Mio's next words put another punch in Azusa's heart, "We'd like to see our angel again. It's too rare to meet one, so we're going to hold you to the ground."

"Don't predict your death, because I like you the best," Yui said.

Azusa saw black, then white, then grey, then the memories. Sadness finally overtook her. She felt her heart and mind merge and she tried as hard as she could to step back. She wasn't sure if it would have been as hard to step off. Her shell couldn't hold anything anymore. Her tears could stay any longer. Azusa felt herself fall backwards as she collapsed entirely on the roof with the arms of her friends following her. She couldn't stop crying. She couldn't stop asking herself why. She felt the comforting warmth of her friends protecting her heart from further damage. Then she felt it repairing. Then she could only feel her friends. She could only feel the now.

* * *

Authors notes:

\- This is only the beginning. Anticipate more chapters if you will.  
\- Huge thanks to UncleGrandpa14 for helping me revise this chapter! He's currently working on a Ritsu x Yui fanfic called 'But what will they think?' and it captures raw emotion so well. If you liked this type of thing, I think you'll like that story: s/13295894/1/But-what-will-they-think  
\- This chapter has been revised from it's original version. It was unclear to some views on whether or not Azusa had actually died at the end of the chapter, I made changes accordingly.  
\- A bit on Will Toledo, who's quote this story is named after. Will Toledo is the lead guitarist and singer in 'Car Seat Headrest' which is simply a rock band. I recommend checking them out, it's insane the things that come out of that man's head.- That's pretty much it for this chapter. As always, reviews are appreciated. Thanks for getting though it!


	2. Chapter 2 - Catalysts

Mio looked out the train window, woods and far buildings flashed passed her vision as the train moved. The train ride there was quiet apart from their chattering. It almost didn't feel like a vacation. It felt like a return. They may be excited to be away from school with a week to be with their friends and family, but it probably wasn't going to feel like that until they got there.

Ui proudly looked at the lounge. The snacks had been laid out, the carpet has been cleaned and the kotatsu was set up. All she was waiting for was for her guests to arrive, she didn't want the tea to go cold so she was halting that process.

Normally, almost no time would pass before her guests would arrive. But she had rushed herself in anticipation. She found herself rather bored as a result. Ui picked up her phone and found no new texts, only the ones she had ignored. Ui glared tensely at the unread messages, getting lost in thoughts behind her eyes. It didn't seem like much time had passed before a soft knock shoved her out of her thoughts and the door began to open.

"Ya-ho," a quiet voice said from the doorway. Ui had already been looking in that direction and practically teleported from one end of the room to the doorway, her arms wrapped around her sister. Behind Yui stood three others. She already knew them, but they seem to have grown these past few months, all of them. All four stepped into the home and Ui let go of her sister.

"I've missed you guys so much! Come, let's talk in the lounge," Ui beckoned them all. Shoes were replaced with slippers and everyone cozied at the kotatsu.

"So how have you guys been at college?"

Mugi started first, "We've honestly been more productive in writing and practicing, sometime during the next break we're gonna record some of our new stuff after Azusa-chan learns the parts."

It was at this time that Yui chimed in, "We still drink tea and eat sweets though, that's never going to stop."

"So is college harder than high school?" Ui hoped that nobody heard the shake in her voice.

Mio started, "Compared to high school, definitely. But it isn't really noticeable."

"Speak for yourself," Yui quietly said to herself.

"You kind of just grow into it, same as the middle school to high school transition," Mio had not noticed Yui's words in between her explanation, but Ui had.

Ui was now concerned for her sister, "Onee-chan, did you do alright in your classes?"

Ritsu chimed in, "She actually did okay for her exams, I'm in a couple of classes with her and she does okay. College is kind of weird because every class is something that you're interested in. Gen-eds are an exception, but they aren't a huge problem and we still help each other study. Right Mio?"

Some time had passed, snacks had been mostly been eaten and it was getting late.

_I think now is the right time. You can do this, no tears._

"There's something very important that you should all know, it concerns Azusa-chan. Especially you, onee-chan, you are the person Azusa-chan talks about the most. You too Mio-san, all of you need to know this." Ui took a deep breath, and began.

"About a month ago, something bad happened between Azusa-chan and Jun-chan. It started with disagreeing over roles in the band. You see, Azusa-chan wanted me to start taking lead parts on the keyboard while Jun-chan runs a program called Ableton for me."

"Nevermind that, continue on, Ui-chan", Mio gestured.

Ui continued, "I guess they got into a bunch of fights, Jun-chan didn't want to, saying it was supposed to be my job and that she wanted to focus on playing bass instead of just the root notes. Azusa-chan really wanted the band composition that way though and neither of them backed down. I guess some stuff from when they were in middle school resurfaced and it just got really bad," Ui closed her eyes and let herself calm for a second, "Jun-chan keeps trying to talk to me to get me to be on her side and I kind of agree with her, but that's just the root of it." Ui took another deep breath and she could feel her voice on the verge of breaking, "I'm really worried about Azusa-chan. She hasn't contacted me at all. Not once. She doesn't come to the club room. Heck, she's been absent in school unusually often. That's why she isn't here today, I can't get into contact with her. She doesn't know that you're back."

"Yes, she does. I texted Azunyan before we left and told her where we'd be and when. I was wondering why she wasn't here."

"I think-"

"It's okay, Ui-chan. We've heard enough for now. We're gonna go to her house right now and see her. Do you want to come?"

"Umm, I might complicate things and I don't want her to be uncomfortable. I have to clean all of this up anyway. You guys go, don't ask about anything until you _know_ it's the right time. From what I've seen at school, she's fragile."

The group of musicians said their goodbyes and departed.

Ritsu was the one to knock, but Yui was the first to enter.

"Hiya, Azunyan. Why weren't you at the get-together?" Yui asked.

"Sorry, I was busy with something. I was planning to go over in an hour or so," Azusa replied.

Everyone was welcomed inside the empty house, wearing slippers. They all sat in the lounge. Azusa was in the kitchen, making tea. Mio had noticed that while Azusa looked clean, she didn't look exactly healthy. Her hair was in strands in some places, like she hadn't really bothered to do it. On top of that, it wasn't in her usual twin tails. Instead it just hung from her head in a long straight mat, similar to Mio and Mugi's hair. She face was pale, like she hadn't left the house in weeks and her eyes had bags under them. Her eyes were also slightly puffy, but not so much where it was noticeable without actively seeking it. Overall, she lacked life in her expression. It was so monotone, yet forced.

"Sorry for the wait, so how's it been with you guys?" Azusa said as she set teacups in front of them. Another thing was her voice. Mio didn't know if she was looking too much into it, but her voice was raspy, lower than usual and on the verge of breaking at the same time.

"We've been good, how are _you_, Azusa-chan?" Mugi replied.

_She just seems so empty… _Mio thought while Mugi was speaking.

"Umm.. pretty good. Been getting along just fine with Jun-chan and Ui-chan even though we haven't found any new members yet."

_Yet I still see her shine._

"That's just fine Azusa. No new members, huh?" Mio questioned.

"No, but Jun-chan left the Jazz Club to join the Light Music Club though. So that's a plus," Azusa's voice started to sound weak, Mio knew that they were already pushing her.

_Ui was right, she is fragile._

_Sometime later…_

Mugi knew what everyone was thinking

_This is so much worse than we could have thought._

Yui's small voice was the first to be heard, "What could we have done differently?"

Mugi stopped Yui from speaking further, noting her words, "More importantly, what are we going to do about this?"

"She looked so broken…" Mio started, her voice beginning to break.

Mugi needed to stop this, "Guys stop! We don't have time to blame ourselves or feel bad. We need to help her!" Mugi stopped for a few seconds, all eyes were on her. She took a deep breath, "So, what are we going to do next?"

Only a few seconds passed before Ritsu started, "We need to figure out what she's feeling. We know what happened for the most part."

Mio chimed in, "Well, we don't really know the details. We just know that her and Jun-chan were at each-other's throats before she cut contact with her and Ui-chan."

Ritsu concluded, "We need to figure out exactly what happened with her and Jun-chan and the details of it. We need to find out what happened in middle school."

"Yui-chan, do you know where Jun-chan lives?" Mugi asked.

"No, but I'm sure Ui does. We should probably tell her about Azunyan's condition too."

Just like that, they were in the Hirasawa household. Yui opened the door and walked in, slipping off her shoes. Ui stood right up and approached them. She looked really nervous.

"How-" Ui swallowed, "How did it go?"

The four of them look at each other and then back at Ui with concerned eyes.

"It's really bad, Ui-chan. I'm so sorry we let it get to this," Mio said.

Yui decided to speak next, "She doesn't look good, she doesn't sound good… The aura around her was like a wall of sadness and glum. She needs help. She needs attention. She needs comfort. It can't just be from us, we have to leave in a week. Her and Jun need to make up and she needs _you_, Ui."

Ui was shocked by Yui's seriousness, she had only seen it a few times in her life.

_If onee-chan's acting like this, then-_

The realization of just how serious it was hit her in the middle of the thought. Her hand came up and clutched her mouth, as if to hold back the cries. She felt uneasy and a bit dizzy. Most of all, she was scared. More scared than she'd been in a long time.

Yui sprung into action, wrapping herself around her sister. She listened to her sister's shuttered breaths as she muttered one thing.

"Azusa-chan…"

* * *

Author's Notes

\- Huge thanks to UncleGrandpa14 for helping me edit and revise this!  
\- There will probably be one more chapter after this and then maybe an epilogue, it depends on what I think the story needs.  
\- Chapter three will be out very soon, I've already started it so expect it to be out sooner than this one was.  
\- That's it for now, leave a review if you want. I'm wondering if telling stories through dialogue (like I'm doing) is effective, so opinions on that would be very much appreciated. Thanks again.


	3. Chapter 3 - When it Will Begin

**Just a note before continuing:**

**There's a bit of an epilogue at the end which takes place directly after the events of chapter one, just to wrap things up. I wanted to make that clear, carry on if you wish.**

* * *

Five girls walked down a lonely sidewalk early in the morning. They radiated urgency.

_We have ten days left._

Ui's voice spoke, "Jun-chan's house is on this street, it's just ahead."

It's good that they were finally getting answers from Jun. They had been trying to contact both Azusa and Jun for answers. Jun was reluctant to talk about it, respectively. Azusa... well Azusa wasn't answering either, but for completely different reasons.

Mugi looked over to her three band mates, still walking, "When we visited Azusa-chan yesterday…" She stopped, everyone stopped walking. She took a deep breath, "Did you guys see it? That look in her eyes?" Everyone was silent for a second, confusion and dread floated through their atmosphere.

Ritsu answered first, "What do you mean? I saw the emptiness too, we all did."

Ui shriveled up a little more in Mugi's vision.

"I saw it Mugi, you're talking about that shine right?' Mio asked.

Mugi started to feel a smile coming up, "Yeah, that brightness. The one she's always had since she joined the club," Yui was getting more excited, her precious shine beaming through her eyes.

"Yeah, I saw it too!" Yui added.

"You know what guys? We have a shot and we will succeed," Ritsu said, "Let's find out what happened."

Ui watched as Jun sat down on the couch with them. Jun had her eyes closed and it was clear that she was fighting the urge to crumble into a million pieces.

"We were in a group of friends back in middle school. We all played in a big band in a jazz club. One day I came back to the club after being absent and the rest of the friend group was mad at her. When I asked them what happened, they told me that she had snapped at them after the club meeting and they were cutting contact. Azusa had been my best friend for years, so I didn't cut contact. It was my idea to purposefully enroll at Sakuragaoka to avoid them," Jun bit her lip. Ui wanted to stop her from talking, but she knew the information was critical. "I know she didn't mean whatever she said and I know she tried to change herself. The fact that they wouldn't accept her apology was eating at her soul. That was, until she saw your performance. That was the first time she'd picked up her guitar in months." Jun opened her eyes. "Does that answer your question?"

"So you brought up that stuff because she was acting similarly in the Light Music Club?" Mio curiously asked.

Jun's eyes showed more hurt, "It- It just came out, I never meant it to come out. I texted her saying I was sorry, but she hasn't replied. I've been trying to contact Ui to help me fix what I've done but-"

Ui couldn't swallow Jun's words, "I'm sorry, Jun-chan. I avoided you because I thought you were trying to get me on your side about the Ableton thing. I'm so sorry Jun-chan," Ui put her hand up to her mouth to try and push the cries back in. Jun stood up and wrapped her arms around her.

"We can fix this, Ui. We can fix this."

Azusa stared at her phone screen, feeling it buzzing in her hand. The phone started slipping from her hand. It fell to the floor, still displaying: "Yui-senpai: calling". Azusa was now staring at her hand. She slowly fell to her side, feeling the couch wrapping itself around her side. Her eyes were looking in the same direction, but her hand was no longer there. A tea cup replaced it, the tea cup from the other day.

_Do I really want to see them again? Should I see them again?_

Azusa reassociated, the phone's buzz was no longer there. At least, for the moment that she was existing outside of her mind. She looked down off of the couch. The phone fuzzily read: "Mio-senpai: calling". Azusa's arm made its way off of the couch and her hand clutched the unflipped phone, sluggishly pulling the device up to her head like an arcade claw machine. Her thumb found the 'answer' button and pressed it.

"Mio-senpai, what's up?" She couldn't hear much coming from the other side of the line, mostly dispersed chatter.

"Guys shush… picked up."

"Mio-senpai?"

Azusa's brain was in the middle of telling her arm to move the phone away from her ear when Mio replied, "Hey, we're on vacation and Ritsu suggested we go to the arcade and then spend the night at Yui's house. We're meeting at your house, okay?"

_What? Is the arcade even near my-_

"So we'll see you in like 20 minutes?" Mio asked through the phone.

"Uhh, sure," Azusa replied without thinking.

"Great! See you then," the other line hung up.

_I guess I'm going to the arcade now._

Azusa straightened herself up and stood. It was only then that she realized how quiet and messy the house was. She could tell, even with the only light emitting from the windows. She walked to the bathroom with intent to shower for the first time since the band came over a few days ago.

"I think I flustered her, but she said yes! If we can get her to loosen up, we can get her to open up tonight! We have a chance!" Mio excitedly said. She really didn't think she would succeed, she thought the call would have been forwarded like the rest.

"That's great! Ui, you're going to be in the house when we come back. You should think about your impression. How are you going to greet her?" Yui said, she had a point. A point that no one else had thought to make.

"I'll think of something onee-chan, I know what you mean," Ui replied.

"Then we'll be off. Jun-chan, you're gonna go back home?" Mugi asked.

"Well it would be weird if I was here when Azusa got here, but I'll be showing up later."

"Right. Let's go guys," Mugi said, before turning to leave.

"Good luck," Ui said as the four left the house.

Four friends stood outside a familiar house. The house of the youngest member of Ho-Kago Tea Time. The house of a lonely kitten in the dark. That was, until the lights from inside beamed through the cracks in the blinds. Minutes passed, they had been waiting for what had seemed to be decades. The door cracked open and a clean, well dressed Azusa peeked out before fully exposing her still weak being to the others.

"You know that the arcade is closer to Ritsu-senpai's house right?" Azusa stated.

"Yeah but we decided to meet here," Yui replied. Azusa didn't understand, but she decided not to push further.

"Uh, right," Azusa agreed. The five of them headed off to the downtown area, which, to Azusa, felt a long ways away.

Azusa didn't like that she was enjoying herself. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She wasn't allowed to be here. At least, that's what she believed.

"Azunyan, Azunyan! Try this one!" Yui cried out. She was pointing at a generic coin game. Azusa knew those were practically rigged to eat money, she also knew that Yui was attracted to the bright flashing lights, as most of them were. Mugi was sat down at one of the stations, a seat next to her was vacant. Azusa decided she wanted to talk to Mugi, so she played the game.

"This is fun, right Azusa-chan?" Mugi asked, her signature warm glow showing through her skin.

"Uhh, yeah…" Azusa originally thought it would be good for her to be around Mugi, but she had regretted that decision not long after committing.

"Have you been writing at all during the school year?" Mugi asked, "Because we have and we'll probably send you the sheets sometime during the next semester, then we can practice and record them next break."

Azusa hadn't thought about After School Tea Time very much in the past few months, she was fussing over her own band, "I haven't written at all for After School Tea Time, I've been busy with Ui and Jun."

"That's quite alright, Azusa-chan. Would you consider yourself still a member of After School Tea Time?" Mugi asked. Azusa hadn't thought about it. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how much she missed these people. She wanted so badly to be a part of this group no matter what it takes. She just needed to decide if she deserved to.

"I- I'm really not sure, Mugi-senpai," Azusa kept her half-smile, she couldn't think of a way to express herself without breaking down in tears.

"We'd like it if you could stick around. We understand that you have your own band, but we like having you around and Yui could use more of your guitar lessons," Mugi added.

Azusa was getting mixed signals. Here Mugi is, telling her that the group wants her while her brain is shouting the exact opposite.

"I'll try, I've been looking at colleges and the one you guys are going to is actually one of the best for a student like me. I'm… probably going there." Azusa decided to be quiet, she knew she wasn't going to college.

"I look forward to seeing you there with us, Azusa-chan," Azusa looked over at Mugi, she didn't realize her expression was one of uncertainty. Mugi just smiled and returned to the coin game. Azusa looked down at her lap and decided to take out her phone.

She opened the phone and unlocked it. There was one notification under the messaging app.

It was from Jun, sent the third of December.

_This was from two weeks ago_

Azusa started remembering what happened two weeks ago. She started remembering what happened last week, she started remembering what it felt like to be guilty. It was fresh again. All the regret, all the guilt, all the hate. It had lingered for so long and now it was at the doorstep of her fragile mind. Tears started to well up. She was staring at the dash of the coin game but her eyes looked past it, where the memories were. Those terrible, terrible memories. She needed to get out of there, she needed space and she certainly wouldn't let her friends see her like this. Gripping the phone, Azusa stood up from the game and began towards the door. She didn't notice Mugi looking back in concern and gathering the rest of her friends.

Azusa stepped outside and looked back at the phone, she hadn't opened the contact. She knew she was going to. She needed closure. She pressed the 'enter' key hovered over Jun's contact.

**"Azusa, I'm really worried. You haven't showed up to school the past couple days, not to mention you haven't been to the club room in almost a week. Listen, I'm so so sorry I brought it up and I promise I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm so sorry. Please come back to school before break starts. Ui's really worried too, please at least text one of us back so we know you're okay. Please, Azusa. I'll see you later, right?**

Azusa read every word, she couldn't believe it. She wanted to read it a second time, but drops of water had begun to dissipate the letters on the screen. It wasn't just her tears, it had begun to rain. This was nature's way of telling Azusa that it was time.

"Azusa, you just kind of walked out-" Ritsu started to speak, but she didn't finish her sentence. She was shocked at the sight of her kohai crying at her phone. Ritsu saw Mio walk in front of the girl. She kneeled in front of her distressed friend, obviously in 'mother' mode. That was one of Mio's qualities, she was excellent in these situations. Mio lowered the phone from Azusa's vision.

"Azusa, how about we go back to Yui's house?"

There was silence, three girls stood beside while Mio reassuringly looked Azusa right in the eye with that sweet smile.

Ritsu decided it was time to enforce the suggestion, "Yeah, lets-"

"I'm sorry, I can't accept that," Azusa quietly said.

Azusa turned and started walking further into the shopping district.

"Azusa, wait!" Mugi said, starting to jog towards the twin tailed girl. Azusa ran into the crowd. Everyone was now engaged, they ran after her.

"Azusa!"

"Azusa, wait up!"

"We just want to talk!"

"Azunyan! Wait!"

Azusa heard the cries of her friends, but she couldn't stop.

_I'm sorry Jun, I can't accept it._

From the distance, she heard it.

"Azunyan! Wait!"

In that very moment, for a split second, she wanted nothing more than to turn back. She wanted to run right into the arms of her senpai. She wanted everything to be okay.

_No turning back now, there's one way to stop this._

Azusa kept running, eventually she got through the mass of people. Nothing stood out, except for a tall building, seeming to be some sort of inn or something.

_I'm sorry._

Azusa entered the building, she couldn't hear the cries of her friends anymore.

_It's for the best._

-_Epilogue-_

Azusa uncurled herself. The rain pitter pattered on the rough surface of the room. Sirens could still be heard over the clearing rain. She didn't want to open her eyes, tears still streamed through.

"Azusa-chan," Mugi's voice said, "Azusa-chan, look at me."

_Are they angry? I'm so stupid._

"Azusa-chan, open your eyes. I want to see them."

Reluctantly, Azusa opened her eyes, only to see the four faces of those she truly loved. The clouds were beginning to dissipate in the background.

Azusa felt like her voice was gone, she wanted so badly to speak. To tell them that she was sorry for this, to run to Jun and Ui and apologize over and over again, "I-"

"Shh, it's okay. We forgive you." Mugi smiled sweetly, along with the others. Azusa could feel Ritsu stroking her hair as her head lay in the drummer's lap. She could feel Yui's hand clasped with hers. She could feel Mio's thumb rubbing on her palm and it rested in Mio's hand. She felt warm. She felt truly at home. She felt more free than when she was on the ledge. She felt her eyes crying again.

Azusa sat up and wrapped her arms around Mugi. She felt the warmth of her friends bodies. She cried. She cried more than when Jun brought up the events at middle school. She cried more than the every day she cried alone in her room instead of going to the club room. She just kept crying until it was all out.

Azusa lifted her head from Mugi's shoulder. She looked up at Mugi, everyone else in her vision.

"So, Azusa-chan," She said, "Are you ready to rebuild?"

* * *

**Authors Notes**

** \- **This will be the last chapter of 'I Like You the Best', thanks for reading.  
\- Thanks to UncleGrandpa14 for proof reading it.


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